A quick note to any restaurateurs or web developers paying attention: Flash sites for restaurants are stupid.

Actually, Flash sites are stupid in general, but for restaurants the problem is as irritating as bad lighting or cold bread during the meal itself. Everything in moderation, people, including your flashy animations and hipster mood music. If I’m going to your restaurant’s site, I almost undoubtedly seek one of three things:

1. Your menu
2. Your phone number
3. Your location

That’s it! I want to know if I should eat at your place, and if I’ve made my decision, I want to know when and how to get there. I don’t want a fucking movie of a bunch of dorks clinking drinks after work, or two pretty people leaning close over…I can’t even see the plate! Show me what you’ve got, or I just won’t bother unless coerced by more forgiving and better-dressed friends.

I’m trolling the ole Internet for a new place to eat tonight and remembered that Sammi recommended First Crush, where she celebrated her sister’s birthday this week and had a wonderful time. I waited for the intro to load and endured the groovy slow-jam and everything, but I can’t even open the damn menu. Fuck ‘em.